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"You are a Wilderness Guardian. That northern wasteland; that land of blood, desolation and death is your dominion. Tonight we are going home." ~His Lordship |
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Posted: March 9, 2010 04:32 pm  | |||
      IRC Nickname: Sgtswordfish Group: Guest Posts: 1737 Member No.: 1758 Joined: March 9, 2009 Total Events Attended: 64    | hello. i'm actually quite particular about poetry and as a developing poet i find it hard to place things in chronological order that will essentially make sense. so here goes my request objective: i need suggestions as to how place this order using an analythical approach to the phases human beings go thru when they feel sorry. background: the ideal of sorry is demonstrated throughout the poem as a journey or quest with an unsure or unfound destination. it places the reader into the perspective of the person that is hurt instead of the person that has committed the hurting. it emphasizes change above the actual act of placing things right and above all. it enthusiastically approaches the victim to encourage the person who committed the deed to challenge itself in a manner that benefits both parties. the poem emphasis itself can be shown thru the main idea of repetition as sorry is repeated as the first sentence with three supporting thoughts that work unconsciously. the rhyme scheme is free rhyme.
sidenotes: this poem started more as a post for mtoise although i did not know who he was. the fact that he left wg and his post title made me realize that what if i was in his shoes. how did he feel, how does he respond, what was going thru his mind, heart, soul. is sorry the end. these where questions that certainly became composed within this poem. thus dedication to mtoise. awesome WG member also i'll be coming here now that i've discovered the study room. most likely it will be more to find out points of view and responces that are by far separate than my own. this is sure to be exciting! --------------------  Goals 2011  | ||
Posted: March 19, 2010 04:36 pm | |||
| IRC Nickname: Stokenut Group: Guest Posts: 2062 Member No.: 805 Joined: June 10, 2008 Total Events Attended: 112 | tl;dr Would be tempted if you learned how to capitalize. -------------------- Over 6 years of history and friendship, deleted over a difference in an opinion. --- Challenge any creationist to a debate. They'll run away and aggressively accuse you of "attacking" them and their "beliefs". I'm sorry, please, keep teaching our kids that they'll burn in hell if they don't believe. Mutilate their genitals against their will while you're at it. Keep influencing politics and holding back vital scientific research. I'll just keep my mouth shut to "respect" your "beliefs". | ||
Posted: March 24, 2010 11:43 pm | |||
| IRC Nickname: markenzie1 Group: Emeritus Posts: 790 Member No.: 2004 Joined: August 9, 2009 Total Events Attended: 180 | nice poem, although its not my style to whrite without rhyme i still like it=D. wish i could help, but i can't understand hhalf whats said here (due my crappy english) --------------------   | ||
Posted: March 30, 2010 06:44 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Tnuac Group: Emeritus Posts: 1806 Member No.: 51 Joined: December 30, 2007 Total Events Attended: 58 | Loving the idea. I can't really make sense of the poem description though  Poem itself is good, but the ending could be a touch better, just more y'know, summary-esque -------------------- ~Aetas: carpe diem quam minimum credula postero~ "Seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow"  | ||
scrambled poem needs to be placed in order, title: when you're sorry