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"You are a Wilderness Guardian. That northern wasteland; that land of blood, desolation and death is your dominion. Tonight we are going home." ~His Lordship |
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Posted: June 21, 2011 04:49 am  | |||
      IRC Nickname: megajayson Group: Elite Guardian Posts: 9246 Member No.: 423 Joined: April 4, 2008 Total Events Attended: 216    | The Purple Chicken and the Potato By Keanu Rajcoomar Dedicated to Robert Carter The Purple Chicken and the Potato Clacky is a chicken. A purple chicken. She lives at 72 Pine Street. Clacky eats potatoes, and an occasional apple or two. She is famous for her discovery of “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?” The answer is, of course, the egg. The only thing you can get from an egg is breakfast, and the only thing you can get from a chicken is dinner. Breakfast comes before dinner, so it's the egg. Besides, Clacky didn’t like the idea of being turned into KFC. One day, Clacky ran out of potatoes. It isn’t normal for a chicken to eat potatoes, but she didn’t eat KFC either. In that situation there was only one solution: go to Asda. Clacky liked the store. “Always low prices.” was why she chose it instead of Target, Walgreens, or K-Mart. And they had the best potatoes: Baked potatoes, jacket potatoes, diced potatoes, potato salad, French-fried potatoes, potato crisps, and, her favourite, purple chicken potatoes. Clacky opened the door and began to get into her car, when she realized her car was not there, just a sign that said: So Clacky had to walk. Today was Friday, 3:04. Thirty seconds later the bell for school rang, and Clacky was standing right at the gate when everyone got out. She left alive though. To get to Asda Clacky had to cross the road. Actually, it was a 28-lane highway. In this case, Clacky was crossing right after the toll plaza, and the toll was $6. Many drivers wanted to get away from the place, and didn’t pay any attention to the purple chicken crossing the road. After the first 14 lanes Clacky decided to cross the toll plaza to the other side of the road, where the cars were slower. It was worth paying $6. But since she didn’t have a car anymore it was half-price. What she didn’t know was that the highway was a two-way. Clacky finally reached Asda. There was no parking problem, just the one of getting inside. The automatic doors didn’t open for chickens, so she waited for a large group of people to come, and then walked up in front of the doors. The plan was fool-proof, except for two flaws: One, she got stepped on. Two, by the time she got up, the doors closed and she got stuck in the middle. Carts were the problem here. The Purple chicken Potatoes aisle was in the back, so she had to go down two escalators, up an elevator (there's the door problem again), Find the right aisle, the side, the shelf, the package, and get it down. She managed all with the help of a shop assistant. On her way out she saw another cart of potatoes...for a lower price! She picked out two from the bottom, causing a potato avalanche. And outside, she found her car and a sign that said: “Your car has been returned” She got in and drove away, only to find the police chasing her. She forgot to pay for the potatoes! Clacky didn't know how to stop a car, so she just jumped out at her house. The police kept on chasing the driverless car. Clacky needed to do…something, she tripped over a potato on her way to her house, and it fell into the drain. She didn't worry about it. Inside, she saw the answer: A bucket of paint. The purple chicken jumped into the bucket of paint and became a green chicken. Outside she saw the police, and the other potato! She had to have it. No one paid any attention to the green chicken coming out of the house, they wanted the purple one, until she tripped over the potato into the drain. The green paint washed off and she was a purple chicken again. Everyone started chasing her again, so she picked up the potato and ran. The paint got on the potato, but she ate it anyway. A purple chicken eating a green potato while running away from Asda staff and the police. It was actually funny. She ate her potato and then everyone left her alone. And the purple chicken went home. THE END --------------------  This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! 7th Highest Overall for Wars Attended. | ||
Posted: June 21, 2011 06:38 am | |||
| IRC Nickname: Wayshow Group: Higher Guardian Posts: 733 Member No.: 2584 Joined: February 6, 2011 Total Events Attended: 41 | Which genius wrote this? Pulitzer prize material The part when she ran out of potatos made me cry The part about her dying herself made me gasp This is a masterpiece K --------------------
3rd for Heavens Slayer Challenge :) All join WG Asia Unit <3 | ||
Posted: June 21, 2011 06:56 am | |||
| IRC Nickname: [Randy] Group: Raid Leader Posts: 5065 Member No.: 16 Joined: December 29, 2007 Total Events Attended: 499 | that was hard to masturbate to.. but I did it --------------------   | ||
Posted: June 21, 2011 08:27 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: Pyroclastic0 Group: Elite Guardian Posts: 1158 Member No.: 35 Joined: December 30, 2007 Total Events Attended: 221 | but I had chicken for breakfast :S -------------------- Having a fight on the internet is alot like the participating in the special olympics you may win, but you're still retarded
Best pker + most mature summer awards 2011 | ||
Posted: June 21, 2011 11:15 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: Sean^ Group: Clan Ally Posts: 151 Member No.: 2339 Joined: August 1, 2010 Total Events Attended: 2 | wat --------------------   ~ Elite (Council) of The Sabre Clan :: RuneFest 2010 Attendee ~ ~ Ex-Descendant Guardian :: Ex-Wilderness Guardian (2005-2006) ~ | ||
Posted: June 22, 2011 12:50 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: Bgpgraebner Group: Higher Guardian Posts: 780 Member No.: 2457 Joined: November 17, 2010 Total Events Attended: 51 |
I didn't. -------------------- SEX. Now that I got your attention, please read my post. | ||
Hi
