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"You are a Wilderness Guardian. That northern wasteland; that land of blood, desolation and death is your dominion. Tonight we are going home."
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 Greatest story ever written
Posted: February 2, 2008 11:26 amTop
   
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IRC Nickname: Matt|Multi
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Joined: December 30, 2007
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Saw this posted on my class forum for WoW.

It IS wow related but you guys can understand it because it's just related to the classes...and generally desribes what a bad group can be like XD

Basic outline of the classes for those who don't understand:
Rogue: Can become invisible, wears leather, has a very high melee DPS rate (damage per second) and is basically hated by everyone because of their stealth.

Hunter: Powerful ranged DPS class, gets to tame a pet that serves as their own tank but they have to feed it with meat/fish etc. Wears leather/mail. Uses Feign Death to make monsters ignore him.

Mage: Can summon food and water for group members (they hate it) and generally nukes things while the tank absorbs the hits. Wears cloth.

Warlock: Has the most DoT's (Damage over time spells) and is (generally) considered overpowered. Can create soul shards which are used to summon demons to tank and provide DPS for the warlock. Wears cloth armor.

Warrior: Can wear plate. Mainly serves as tanks. Can be either specced for tanking (prot specced) at the cost of any real damage dealing ability, or be specced for lots of DPS at the cost of tanking abilities. Worthless without a healer. Primarily uses Sunder Armor to keep the monsters attacking him.

Priest: Can fade to drop aggro (aggro = when a monster is after you). Wears cloth. Pretty self explanatory otherwise.

Paladin: Cross between Priest/Warrior that can wear plate and turn invincible (called a "bubblehearth") for 8 seconds every few minutes. Has good healing abilities and is very effective against the undead.

Shaman: Uses elemental totems and spells to attack enemies. Wears leather/mail. Generally burn through their mana (used to cast spells) pretty fast. Has Reincarnation which allows them to come back to life immediately after a death.

Druid: Can shapeshift. Uses different animal forms for different purposes. Only class that can revive party members in combat (only if they develop their characters a certain way, and the ability can only be used once every 30 mins.) Wears leather.

And, just to explain a bit, /party makes a message so only party members can see it.

OOM is short for "Out of Mana"

Sitting causes your health and mana to recharge at a faster rate.

Mages have an ability that encases them in a block of ice, making them immune to all damage but unable to move or attack for a bit.

And Fel Reavers are MASSIVE and incredibly powerful machines wandering the Outlands (lvl 60-70 zone) that can pretty much 1 shot you if you're not careful.

Well that's basically the classes outlined, onto the actual story.

QUOTE

Rogue says 'Got a quest to kill a fel reaver - anyone want to group?'
Crickets chirp.
Priest says 'Me too, who wants to group with me?'
Mage says 'I do!'
Hunter says 'I do!'
Warrior says 'I do!'
Druid says 'Need ranged DPS?'
Shaman says 'I do!'
Paladin says 'Hey, I can heal too!'
Warlock says 'Sure, why not?'
Priest says 'Okay, I'll take Mage, Warrior, Warlock, and Hunter.'
Rogue says 'Aw, crap.'
Hunter points and laughs at Druid.
Druid shifts into cat form for no apparent reason.
Buffs happen with nifty /party chat macros.
Warlock, Shaman, Paladin, Hunter, Druid, and Priest /whisper Mage, 'water plz'
Mage sighs.
Warrior says 'Trash mob wander incoming. I got it.'
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 75.
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 71.
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 75.
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 74.
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 81.
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 86.
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 68.
Warrior crits Trash Mob for 135.
Warrior says 'I rock!'
Trash Mob is at 98% health.
Hunter says 'Wow, look at Mr. Protection Spec go.'
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 81.
Warrior crits Trash Mob for 146.
Warrior says 'A new record!'
Warrior flexes.
Mage burns his meditate for mana to make more water.
Warlock summons an imp.
Imp says 'Man, that warrior sucks.'
Warrior is still whittling away at Trash Mob.
Hunter says 'Anyone have any meat?'
Hunter's Pet sighs.
Druid shifts into travel form for no apparent reason.
Paladin says 'Hey, I can heal too!'
Shaman says 'So can I, but you don't see me getting nerfed, do you?'
Paladin sighs.
Rogue says 'I'll help!'
Rogue backstabs Trash Mob for 1450.
Rogue cheap shots Trash Mob.
Trash Mob is stunned!
Rogue hits Trash Mob for 605.
Rogue crits Trash Mob for 1145.
Rogue hits Trash Mob for 786.
Rogue crits Trash Mob for 1044.
Rogue crits Trash Mob for 1089.
Rogue points and laughs at Warrior.
Warrior says 'Hey, guess who forgot to sunder?'
Trash Mob hits Rogue for 1014.
Trash Mob hits Rogue for 989.
Trash Mob crits Rogue for 2155.
Trash Mob crits Rogue for 2341.
Rogue has died.
Warrior points and laughs at Rogue.
Warlock says 'Fine, I'll handle it.'
Warlock summons a felguard.
Felguard points and laughs at Warrior.
Warrior cries.
Warlock sends in Felguard.
Warlock casts a DoT.
Warlock casts another DoT.
Warlock casts yet another DoT.
Warlock nukes the crap out of the mob while juggling, reading War and Peace, and watching reruns of Cops on TV.
Felguard holds aggro the whole time.
Trash Mob has died.
Warlock receives Soul Shard.
Hunter slaps Hunter's Pet.
Hunter says 'Pay attention!'
Shaman probably said something here, but who listens to them anyway?
Mage finishes handing out water to everyone.
Warrior and Hunter whisper Mage, 'food plz'
Priest says 'Hurry up, Mage - let's go!'
Mage contemplates rerolling.
Druid shifts into bear form for no apparent reason.
Warrior says 'Okay, pulling more trash mobs.'
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 93.
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 96.
Warrior hits Trash Mob for 91.
Shaman says 'I'll help.'
Shaman drops an air totem.
Shaman drops an earth totem.
Shaman casts Rockbiter.
Shaman says 'OOM'
Shaman sits.
Paladin says 'At least I'm not that guy.'
Hunter says 'Anyone got any arrows?'
Mage says 'I got this.'
Mage summons Air Elemental.
Mage orders Air Elemental to attack.
Mage orders Air Elemental to attack.
Mage orders Air Elemental to attack.
Mage orders Air Elemental to attack.
Air Elemental just stands there.
Mage says '6 months and they still haven't fixed this stupid bug!'
Mage hits Trash Mob for 1441.
Mage hits Trash Mob for 1255.
Warrior says 'Yeah, about those sunders...'
Trash Mob hits Mage for 1340.
Trash Mob hits Mage for 1412.
Mage is encased in a block of ice!
Mage says 'I'm used to it.'
Shaman stands up.
Shaman drops a fire totem.
Shaman drops a water totem.
Shaman casts Lightning Shield.
Shaman says 'OOM'
Shaman sits.
Druid runs off to find some water so he can shift to sea lion form for no apparent reason.
Priest heals Mage for 4103.
Rogue yells 'Oh, I see how it is!'
Priest shrugs.
Warlock kills the Trash Mob accidentally while discussing Tolstoy with someone over AIM.
Warlock receives Soul Shard.
Mage sighs.
Druid comes back with a Fel Reaver chasing him.
Warrior says 'On it!'
Warrior charges the Fel Reaver.
Mage, Hunter, and Paladin attack the Fel Reaver.
Shaman is still OOM.
Warlock is now AFK.
Rogue whispers Druid, 'battle rez?'
Druid whispers Rogue, 'I'm balance specced!'
Rogue sighs.
Priest heals Warrior for a lot.
Druid shifts into moonkin form.
Mage says 'Seriously?'
Mage nukes the Fel Reaver for a lot.
Hunter shoots the Fel Reaver for a lot.
Druid nukes the Fel Reaver for not as much as Mage.
Fel Reaver crits Druid for 12000.
Druid is dead.
Mage yells 'WTB threat reduction, PST to Druid!'
Hunter snickers.
Fel Reaver is sort of beat up.
Fel Reaver cleaves Warrior for 1200.
Fel Reaver cleaves Paladin for 1340.
Fel Reaver cleaves Hunter's Pet for 1560.
Hunter's Pet is dead.
Hunter says 'Anyone have any meat?'
Fel Reaver cleaves Warrior for 1386.
Fel Reaver cleaves Paladin for 1421.
Paladin panics.
Paladin bubblehearths.
Priest, Mage, Warrior, Shaman and Hunter shake their heads.
Priest says 'OOM!'
Shaman stands up.
Shaman says 'I've got heals.'
Shaman heals Warrior for 800.
Shaman heals Warrior for 810.
Shaman heals Warrior for 786.
Shaman heals Warrior for 803.
Shaman says 'OOM'
Shaman sits.
Priest sighs.
Fel Reaver hits Warrior like Warrior stole his bike.
Warrior is dead.
Mage does the math.
Mage is encased in a block of ice!
Hunter does the math.
Hunter feigns death.
Priest does the math.
Priest fades.
Shaman does the math.
Shaman sighs.
Fel Reaver hits Shaman for a really, really big number.
Shaman is dead.
Shaman is resurrected.
Shaman says 'Self rez FTW!'
Fel Reaver hits Shaman for an even bigger number.
Shaman is dead.
Fel Reaver turns Priest into chunky salsa.
Priest is dead.
Mage pops Cold Snap.
Mage is encased in a block of ice!
Mage says 'Hey, 30 seconds is better than nothing.'
Fel Reaver gnaws on the ice.
Mage makes out his last will and testament.
Fel Reaver stomps Mage like a narc at a biker rally.
Mage is dead.
Warlock is no longer AFK.
Warlock looks around.
Warlock shrugs.
Warlock sends in Felguard.
Warlock casts a DoT.
Warlock casts another DoT.
Warlock casts yet another DoT.
Warlock fear kites the Fel Reaver while taking an online test on quantum physics.
Fel Reaver is dead.
Warlock receives Soul Shard.
Hunter sighs.

 
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Born at sea, baptized in blood your fame will never die. Your Division is one of the best if not the best division in the history of American arms -Gen George S Patton on the 45th Infantry Division

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Posted: February 2, 2008 11:38 amTop
   


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lol.gif
 
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Posted: February 2, 2008 12:41 pmTop
   
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IRC Nickname: Yingy
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milklaugh.gif xD
 
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The Long Road Ahead - 91/99 Prayer
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Posted: February 2, 2008 04:46 pmTop
   
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IRC Nickname: Wayne|Eregion2
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Lol nice. woeh.gif
Btw, you guys can only resurrect once every thirty minutes? LAME! milklaugh.gif
 
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Posted: February 2, 2008 10:14 pmTop
   
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IRC Nickname: Matt|Multi
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Joined: December 30, 2007
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QUOTE (Eregion2 @ February 02, 2008 04:46 pm)
Lol nice. woeh.gif
Btw, you guys can only resurrect once every thirty minutes? LAME! milklaugh.gif

Combat rez is only usable once every 30 mins. Paladins and priests can res out of combat as much as their mana will permit.

Although there are soulstones....but that's another topic =p
 
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Born at sea, baptized in blood your fame will never die. Your Division is one of the best if not the best division in the history of American arms -Gen George S Patton on the 45th Infantry Division

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Posted: February 2, 2008 11:21 pmTop
   
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IRC Nickname: Wayne|Eregion2
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That's weird though. What happens if you die and no one can res you? frown.gif
 
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Posted: February 3, 2008 12:54 amTop
   
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IRC Nickname: Matt|Multi
Group: Emeritus
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Member No.: 49
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 12
QUOTE (Eregion2 @ February 02, 2008 11:21 pm)
That's weird though. What happens if you die and no one can res you? frown.gif

You run (as a ghost) back to your corpse and revive with half health and mana. However that takes time so a combat/Out of combat rez is vastly preferred.
 
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Born at sea, baptized in blood your fame will never die. Your Division is one of the best if not the best division in the history of American arms -Gen George S Patton on the 45th Infantry Division

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Posted: February 3, 2008 01:12 amTop
   
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IRC Nickname: Ret[Keith]
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XD
 
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Best Firemaker in WG no lie
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1st joined WG: October 18th, 2005.
Ex-WG mod, OPH winner
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^My original idea (U GOIN DOWN TWIZ)^
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Hash Unit, Tun Unit, C-Unit
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Posted: February 3, 2008 08:48 amTop
   
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I stopped reading after it said the Rogue backstabbed then cheapshotted, LIES AND BLASPHEMY.
 
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