http://wildernessguardians.com/table.htm

[Nightwish - "Kiteen Pallo"]
Welcome to the outback.
- You can't just ask a tree why it's African!
And this is a good reason why you should join the Descendant Guardians
Perfect reason why you need to join the Descendant Guardians
Join the Descendant Guardians
Join DG
- His clan sucks, join mine
Well it's the same fucking clan!

[Firefly Studios - "Minstrelosity"]
- The 28th of September 2012 would mark the tenth time the Wilderness Guardians
- shook hands in real life. However, this meeting was very different
- from those we had hosted before.
- Seven of us arrived at the Edale camping barn in the Peak District.
- We spent the entire weekend without electricity, water or heating.
- This movie documents our enterprise in the real world wilderness -
- Mountain climbing, drinking games, and contemplating the unimaginable
- with sheep.

- No, I'm gonna keep filming you cause you're the guy who brought
a duvet on a camping trip
Dude, this shit's comfortable
- Kind of wish I was laid next to you actually cause at least
- Gene gets to share it
You are laid next to me
- No, that's Gene there
- Gene's the meat in a Steve-Owen sandwich
Hi, I'm Kez, I'm slightly damp, I've lost my sleeping bag
I broke an umbrella
And this is a good reason why you should join the Descendant Guardians
instead of WG. We are the perfect entry to clanning for new players
- How did that transition even work?
- Wow, that is fantastic
- I've lost my sleeping bag, you should join DG...
- The pork, and that's the beef, yeah that's about right
- Our legendary cooks, Mike...
How many of us are there? There's only 7 of us
[[inaudible]]
- Hi Owen
- Sam
Oh man, it's gonna spit in my face
Yeah, there's like a shitload of oil
Good fuckin' burger
- Damn right it is
They're a lot better than they look, honestly
- No, we're - no this is in night vision, this is in Paris Hilton mode
- You can't see the colour
- But yeah, they actually look like turds
- They smell really good though, you guys...
[Judas Priest - "Living After Midnight"]
- Do you really have to drink the thing?
- Yeah
- Yeah, you have to down it as well
If I pick the last king, I will drink that cup
And I am going to projectile vomit all over you
[[drunken rambling]]
That would call us even for... you... jizz...
As you can see here, this is the leadership of WG which is the perfect
reason why you need to join the Descendant Guardians. We are the perfect
entry point for PvP. If you are completely new to the clan world and have
no experience whatsoever with clan PKing and warring, we can help you
out - learn the ropes, and offer all the traditional elements that clans
have to offer including full-scale wars and PK run-ins
Don't you think he looks like ... ???
- Woah!
Hi, I'm His Lordship, leader of the Wilderness Guardians
You may remember me from other such RuneScape-related videos
as "The Wilderness - An Unauthorised Biography" and
Which I made!
Oh shit, I really punched you
Oh my god I'm so sorry
If that was a real punch, it was weak
- ohhhh
... challenge ...
- Hadouken!
I'll just do it to your arm, ok
- Let's take this outside
- He's gonna fall over
Wait, I missed, let me try that again
Nope
- Punch the wall, please punch the wall
- He's gonna fall out of the barn
- He's doing Morse code!
Hi... oh, Morse code is this, wait
Hold on, I think I can spell "cunt" in Morse
No wait, no I can smell it, I-
- Smell?
I can spell it, I can spell it in...
- Sing "Call Me Maybe" into the torch

- Gene, do you wanna have that race across the field?
- Do it, do it!
- I think this would be amazing
No, I've stepped in enough shit to last me a lifetime
It's called the DG forums
- Let's make it more interesting, you both have to do it in your boxers
[Yellow - "Oh Yeah"]
- Oh, he's gonna do it
- You're recording this, right?
- It's just your boxers, you're not allowed anything else
- Are we doing this Gene?
- Here we go, this is on!
- He's never gonna upload the footage
Ow, my nipples!
- That's the downside, he's never gonna - we're never gonna see this
footage for like six years, if ever
Holy shit, it's cold
- Yeah, we're definitely not seeing this
It's not that cold
It's cold

- What's the king anyway?
- Let's make it interesting
- The king is if you've got the last king you have to drink the cup
- Pardon?
- If you've got the last king, you have to...
I'm gonna go wank on a sheep!
- Did he actually just say that?
Let's do this
Give him some privacy
- Why is there... is there some...
- That's a malteser
- Why is there a malteser...
- Gene?
- Where's he gone?
Get the fuck out!
Really get the fuck out!
Fuck off!
- Ey?
- Nice
What are you doing?
- I'm...
It's cold, I can't even get hard!
Ow!
- It is like Mordor out here really
What?
- It's like Mordor really
Yeah I know
- Any minute you also see Frodo and Sam walking past doing the Dutch wank
- Just wanking each other off
Welcome to the outback
We have a young man we've found having a wank
- 'Round the back of a shed
Oh Jesus Christ
- He's urged!
Ahhh oh god
I stepped in my own piss
- I need this footage
[Judas Priest - "Living After Midnight"]
I think we should go and climb that tree
That is a nice tree
It is a nice tree
- Can we fuck it?
I think it looks kinda African
- You can't just ask a tree why it's African
- Like, that is so racist
I've gotta drink this apparently, Gene I'll have to use a friend to
go halves on this
- Yeah ok
It's got a malteser in it
- Yeah I need to get drunk anyway, so we'll go halves
- You need to get drunk? Yeah
- You just felt up Owen's nipple and you need to get drunk
I do that when I'm sober!
It's got a fucking malteser in it
Do you want the malteser? Will you eat the malteser?
- It's nutritious!
- Yeah I'm used to it
I'll take half and you take the half with the malteser
- Gene, Do it outside
I can take it
- You can take more than half
- We doing it outside?
- Trust me, you can take more than half
- Smells like cough syrup
- That's pretty good
Oh ok good
- And the malteser!
- Give it a crunch
- It's a satisfying crunch
- There he goes
- Step away...
- From the vehicle
- Oh come on Gene, it wasn't that bad cause it had Jager in it, it was
just like a big jar of cough syrup...

- Up there, you have to throw a card up there
My name is Eugene, and it's related to the word "eugenics"
Which was actually like used by Hitler in his Nazi campaign to
- Hitler did nothing wrong!
Holy fucking shit! Did you just say that?
Come with me my good sir! Those will be the last words you ever said
I'm the leader of the Wilderness Guardians, we are highly honourable
Join our clan
- Hitler did nothing wrong! He was a good man!
- How do you put night vision on?
You mean Paris Hilton mode?
- Oh it's done it!
- You take the cap off, that's how you do it
Hindu Jesus you are coming with me now!
- Fuck off, I'm not Alain
This is the appropriate time for a recruitment movie
Hi, I'm His Lordship
- His clan sucks, join mine
Well it's the same fucking clan!
Hi, I'm His Lordship, leader of the Wilderness Guardians.
Anyway, our clan is, umm...
- Infertile
...not worth joining, it's dead, so just fucking join Corruption
or something, no that's dead too. What's a clan that's alive?
Oh that's right, they're all fucking dead.
- Divine Forces!
No they're gonna die in like 2 months
- Divine Forces!
I'll put this shit to YouTube, Divine Forces is gonna die in 2 more months
- Yeah, good speech
- True 2k8 strong!
But yeah guys, if you need toilet go before I do because
it will not be there when I'm done.
- Nice!
That clip, what Keanu just said, has to end up in the footage
- Your penis gets cold out there
Your penis gets cold out there?
You should try going out naked, feels really good
Does it? Have you done it? - Only three times
Three times? - Yeah
Not too many times? - No, but when you go for a pee
When you go for a piss outside
- Yeah .. come out, and then like it literally froze as it came out ..
- Go on Gene!
They've all gone doing something or other with sheep.
I personally think this has been a very good day
We've had - we've had our drinking game which you can see
the aftermath of there - the cards, there's the book
with the moose thing, we have some leftover bottles of
random alcohols and spirits and so
More crap, bags, more alcohol,
Even more alcohol, this is the alcohol we haven't drank yet
I have my, where is it - that is it, this is the one I bought
The Captain Morgan's rum, not the spiced rum, just the normal dark rum
Cause they told me to buy dark rum
What is that? Something from Asda, I'm not sure what it is
I think it's apple juice, it looks like apple juice, that's about right
And um, yeah it's a complete mess, and Steve and Gene and I think Owen
have to sleep there as well, so they're gonna have a lot of fun
cleaning that up. I will leave it to them.
But yeah it's been a really good night, it's um... it's been fun
And yeah, do I need to say anything else?
Join DG because we're awesome, don't join WG
because the leader gets drunk and feels up other peoples' tits
And yeah that's it, so see you tomorrow guys, cheerio.
[Led Zeppelin - "White Summer/Black Mountain Side"]
[inaudible]
- That's his knee
I am awake you know
That's my ass cheek, what are you doing
- You can have this now
- Turn off that fucking light
- That would be the sun you fucking idiot
- The Wilderness Guardians making their breakfast, that is my
- bread with jam
- It doesn't really do us justice as like, you know, hardcore
- wilderness experts eating cereal
Yeah like, go take footage of Mike, he's making eggs and...
- Yeah, go on
- Here we have the guys making burgers and eggs
- Sup, Owen how you doing?
- I'm just getting some footage because Gene will never upload his, so...
- He won't upload last night's
- This is His Lordship
- Keanu
- Hello?
Do you want your bubble wrap back?
- Um, go on then, it'll come in handy at some point
- He must own this place
- I bought that cereal... and the apple as well
And the apple which I didn't ask for
Keanu can I have one of your apples?
- Yes, go ahead, take whatever you want
- Over here we have Lumby and Chris... putting on socks
- Sam's the only person he doesn't call by his first name
- I keep forgetting your first name, I just call you Lumby
- Did you introduce me as Stokenut or Steve?
- Umm... I don't know, but anyway this is Steve AKA Stoke-
- Oh shit the battery's dying already, god dammit
- Lol jk banned
Steve-oh-shit?
- No seriously, I had a full battery on this yesterday, what happened?
- Ok let's go over things quickly - food, bags, sleeping bags and shit
- Table with milk and tea and stuff, and yeah
[Zoë Keating - "Escape Artist"]
- Oh my god
- Look at this shit
- Oh wow
- Holy hell that's beautiful
- I know
- Oh my god
- Even a train as well
- It's quaint
- Shall we see if we can see the top of the mountain that we tried to climb?
- Yeah
- Anyway we're here in Edale Camping Barn, we've been here since
- yesterday, almost got lost... well, did get lost, I lost my
- sleeping bag. I found it now, it's ok... I'm almost out of socks
- because two of the three pairs I brought are soaked...
- Look at that, really nice view of the English Peak District
- countryside sort of thing right here.
- Holy fucking shit. That's not it, that can't, there's got
- to be more to it than that
- No there is, we went behind that. It goes up even higher
- We climbed up this mountain, we were so fucked
- There was, I think there was a time you took off all your clothes
- literally and went out there and started trying to fuck a sheep
- or something
Mm, sounds about right.
- Can anyone pass me my suitcase?
[end of dialogue]

Call of Duty Classic

Psy, whose Korean language song Gangnam Style has been a worldwide phenomenon, plans to record his next single in English.

Getting into bed, under the duvet, and taking off my socks using my toes.
Better than sex.

That's cool. I get a pm like that every 30 seconds relating to youtube vids.

We regret to inform you that your account has recieved free membership.

what the fuck LOL

English literature classes persuaded me to write a poem. The title has no relation to the clan.

Solace

At the end of my garden where the grass grows untamed
There is a little picket fence
Moss-covered wood, tormented by years of rain and snow
The vines curl upon the fading white paint
And a little swinging gate
Who lets no one but me pass into the shadows

And if you walk long enough, you’ll find the glade
Where towering willow trees stand strong and silent
Their tendrils drape undisturbed

In the early autumn afternoon, with no wind nor rain
The cyan of the glade calls to me
I rest my head upon the bark of a willow tree
And listen intently as silence speaks its wisdom

A mushroom sits alone near my hand
Somewhere beneath, in the depths and darkness of the earth
Lie the decayed bones of someone I never knew
Who was called to the glade just as I
Maybe an aeon ago

I wonder if the trees spoke to her too
If they told her to find the stream
And into it pour her golden nectar
To watch it glisten in the light as it runs over the rocks
Illuminating her face as she smiles

Then the years went by
And what was once her magnificence now rests in silence and death
She was a ghost, a memory that I never knew
There are millions of mushrooms in the glade
Far too many for me to count

You still ask me why I spend my time with the owls
Why I choose to stare deep into the eyes of the Beast
In fascination
Why I do not barter the devouring of my flesh for a brief moment of ecstasy
Better to let Her feast on the dogs
And ignore me as I pass on by, Her appetite is satisfied

The rats are content with their sewers
They never speak of better life
Never try and fight for the surface
Never flee from their darkness and damp

I watch the young lads in their overalls
As they scurry about the harbour
Tending to the ship that takes our brothers overseas
To suffer pain and death for some greater good
They paint the union jack upon the bow
Glorification of this grand coffin

combat = good for wilderness
druidic = good for cwa

Jain Brown
If a 747 can carry a Space Shuttle then I call bullshit on overweight baggage fees....i aint fitting shit in 15kg !!!!!!!

@Swift-CB33A203.cable.virginmedia.com

Why? Because FUCK FAITH IN HUMANITY, that's why.