Absolutely beautifully written application, perhaps the greatest we have ever seen posted on these forums.
The amount of detail you have included is phenomenal.
Personally, if i had to pick my favourite part it would have to be the part where you said "Thats my bio---$$GET OVER IT$$---Thats my bio"
Brilliant.
Thank you for the vast display of effort and dedication you have shown today, it would be an honor to have you amongst our ranks.