Poem - Anne de Seine

[Vio]

My entry for National Poetry Day, as part of my Creative Writing course.

ANNE DE SEINE
VIO AMETHYST

Making history, I do not live for.
Meeting history, like you, I’d die for.
Unanswered question, unsolved mystery,
It only serves to fascinate me more.

What could shatter such perfection?
Was it, from Winter’s heart, escape
Into the choke of nature’s lifeless tendrils
To rot all trace of existence away?

But have you seen how you served on -
With gifts of wisdom, graced those in doubt
And taught them all of life and love,
Though only after they fished you out.

From the signposts and the little wooden fences
To grand walls lined with gleaming razor wire -
Polished buttons upon a soft fur coat,
To keep the cold from infecting the fire.

Yet so long ago did you show the world
That hidden beyond, chilling waves to the eye,
Lies warmth and calm, the serenity you found
Beneath the Palais du Louvre and a starlit sky.

[Mister Kyle]

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What is this even

[Vio]

D and F is a half-rhyme, it counts

[Mojo]

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What is this even

its a poem darth

e: As I said to you in PM, I prefer the Mad Cow one

[His Lordship]

My entry for National Poetry Day, as part of my Creative Writing course.

ANNE DE SEINE
VIO AMETHYST

Making history, I do not live for.
Meeting history, like you, I’d die for.
Unanswered question, unsolved mystery,
It only serves to fascinate me more.

What could shatter such perfection?
Was it, from Winter’s heart, escape
Into the choke of nature’s lifeless tendrils
To rot all trace of existence away?

But have you seen how you served on -
With gifts of wisdom, graced those in doubt
And taught them all of life and love,
Though only after they fished you out.

From the signposts and the little wooden fences
To grand walls lined with gleaming razor wire -
Polished buttons upon a soft fur coat,
To keep the cold from infecting the fire.

Yet so long ago did you show the world
That hidden beyond, chilling waves to the eye,
Lies warmth and calm, the serenity you found
Beneath the Palais du Louvre and a starlit sky.

A good base, but could use more imagery and clarity in places. Edits in red.

Making history, I live not for.
Meeting history - like you - I’d die for.
Unanswered question, unsolved mystery,
That only serves to beguile me more.

What force could shatter such perfection?
From Winter’s talons did you take flight
Into the embrace of watery tendrils,
Where festers away your ghostly light.

But can you see how you serve on
With gifts of wisdom to grace those in doubt?
Bestowing upon them lessons of life and love,
Though only after they pulled you out.

From signpost and little wooden fence
To grand walls, gleaming with razor wire;
Polished buttons upon a soft fur coat,
To keep the cold from drowning the fire.

So long ago did you show the world
Below the chopping waves, and hidden from the eye
Lies warmth and calm: serenity you found
Beneath the Palais du Louvre and a starlit sky.

[Josheh]

I think it sounded nice in Vio's format. Genes yours read like I actually expected it to read when I clicked, did not enjoy.

[Mami Tomoei]

Im asian so im allowed haikus

I like Big Train Trains
Trains Trains Trains Trains Trains Trains Trains
Hot girl Drop pants pls?

[His Lordship]

Vio's was great, but after reading it I had no idea that some girl had committed suicide by drowning herself.
It does need a bit more clarity.